


What're You Doing Here

by deansexual



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Normal AU, Priest Dean Winchester, Weecest, talks about past weecest relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12346743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansexual/pseuds/deansexual
Summary: Sam hasn't seen Dean in 6 years





	What're You Doing Here

The priest stands in front of the wooden door, his hand closed up into a fist, so close to the wood, as if he was about to knock. He’s not sure if he wants to, not sure if he’s ready to face the man on the other side, but he has to.

He softly knocks on the door, his head feeling light, the world spinning, he’s not too sure why he thought this was a good idea. He can hear footsteps approaching the door, and realizes this is all real, he’s really there.

The door opens, slowly, revealing a slightly taller man, brown hair touching his shoulders, a loose grey shirt and grey boxers, and hazel eyes that had so much beauty in them. In all ways, he was breathtaking, not a thing has changed about him.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?” The man asked, confusion laced in his tone as he looks around, as if the priest had not come alone.

He’s grown up since the last time Dean had seen him, had to be at least 6 years, not the same boy he had been. His birthday wasn’t too long ago, turned 23 if Dean’s memory served him right.

“It’s nice to see you too Sam, mind if I come in?” He looks behind Sam,” Is Jess here?”

Sam looked conflicted, wondering if he should let him in, if he even should be talking to Dean after everything that had happened, but that was his big brother.

“No, she’s not” Sam answered, moving to the side, allowing Dean to come in; he knows he’ll regret this later.

Dean nods, stepping inside the house, trying not to think about how close he was to Sam. If he were to turn and face him, their chests would touch, lips only inches apart.

“Working?” Dean asks, as if he cared about the woman, but he’s not even slightly interested in his brother’s girlfriend, never had been, never will be.

Sam nods, closing the door once Dean’s through. “She’s a nurse, works late at night, probably won’t be back until morning” He explains, turning to find that Dean’s looking at the walls which were adorned with photos of him and Jess.

There’s this pang in Dean’s chest as he sees how happy his brother is, soft smiles and passionate kisses shared between the couple.It was like Sam was better off without Dean in his life, like all he needed was Jess.

“You became a priest?” Sam asked, leading Dean way from the photos and into the living room, gesturing to a couch for them to sit on.

Dean’s head cleared from his thoughts of Sam and jess, looks down at his black outfit, touching the white collar, almost having forgotten that he was a Priest.

“Yeah, after I left home, decided to turn my life around” Sam joined him on the couch, and Dean hasn’t sat that close to Sam since that time all those years ago.

Sam nods, although he’s thinking about how a nonbeliever like his big brother wound up joining a church. He could still remember the little arguments Dean and their father got into when Dean refused to go to church.

They sit in silence for a while, staring at each other, not sure what to say. It’s Sam who is the first to break the silence.

“Why are you here?” He asked, sounding as if he wanted to get the visit over with and have Dean out of the door as soon as possible.

Dean’s been asking that ever since he got in his car and drove through 3 states, stopping only for gas, just to see his brother who he vowed to never talk to, or even think of, again. 

“I’m not sure” It’s partially the truth, it’s what Dean wants to believe, but a part of him knows why he’s there. “After all those years of not talking to you, it felt like I had left with unfinished business” Dean tugged at his collar as he felt his heart race.

Sam scoffed. “Yeah, sure Dean” He pinches the bridge of his nose,”Out of nowhere you decide to pop back into my life after, what, 6 years?” Sam stood up from the couch, crossing his arms, facing away from Dean.

Dean can understand why his brother was upset with him, after all, it was his fault that he had to leave Sam, without even saying goodbye at that. He could’ve called, texted, hell, he could’ve even wrote a letter, but he chose not to.

“It wasn’t really like I had too much of a choice with Dad” Dean argued,”I wanted to say goodbye, trust me” Dean stood up, hand reaching out for Sam, resting on his shoulder.

He turned, eyes falling on Dean’s hand, and the stayed like that before Sam shrugged out of his touch, sitting back down on the couch.

“Yeah, sure” Sam took a few deep breaths, the anger leaving his body,” Why a priest? Why not a mechanic?”

Dean frowned as he took his spot back on the couch, picking up on the fact that Sam could not meet his eyes, looking off to the side of him.

“I felt like if I became a priest I could be pure, maybe live up to Dad’s expectations, make all of you proud” Dean can remember the day he stood upon the church steps, looking towards the sky, and for the first time in his life, he asked for forgiveness.

Sam didn’t say anything, just nodded his head, clenching his jaw.

“So how’ve you and Jess been?” Dean asked, the words tasting bitter to him.

Sam’s mood shifts at her name, and it seems like he’d forgotten her for the time that Dean had been there.

“We’ve been great actually, got married on my birthday” Sam says, quietly.

Dean’s heart drops at those words, and the world feels like it’s spinning once again. He knew that the fact he left Sam would’ve hurt his brother, but he never would’ve thought Sam wouldn’t tell him that he had gotten married.

His green eyes shift to Sam’s hand, landing on the small wedding ring, gleaming back at him, mocking him. God, how could he have missed it?

“You got married? You didn’t tell me?” Dean asked, pain evident in his question.

Sam’s still unable to look at him, unable to look his brother in the eyes and see how much he was hurting. He shouldn’t care, Dean left him, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah, it was beautiful, mom and dad were there” He doesn’t mean to rub salt into the wound, but it just comes out that way,” I hadn’t hear from you and I just…” Sam didn’t really have an excuse.

Dean nodded, licking his lips, trying to keep himself from crying.

“You had my phone number, nothing stopped you from texting me”Dean’s trying so hard not to let all of his emotions spill out,”or did you not want me there?”

Sam slowly looks over at Dean, and it’s then that his heart breaks completely as he realizes the truth.

He smiles, a tear rolls down his cheek, falling down onto the dark priest outfit. He’s not smiling because he’s happy or anything, no, he’s smiling ‘cause it hurts so damn much.

“Ah, I see” He gets up from the couch,”I’m not wanted, guess I’ll just leave then”

As Dean walked past Sam, he grabbed his wrist, preventing him from going any farther. Sam’s grip is tight around his wrist, and he doesn’t even bother trying to wiggle free.

“Please, don’t” Sam looks up at his brother, eyes watering, a soft look on his face that Dean’s always been a sucker for.

There’s a moment of silence as they look into each other’s eyes, and it’s clear they’re both thinking of that night long ago, the night that caused Dean to leave. 

They’re both thinking of their bodies against one another, sweat making them stick together, lips clashing, tongues tasting, hands roaming, when they had become one being. It had only been them in that moment, and nothing else mattered.

“Sam-” Dean couldn’t finish as he was pulled down, lips met with ones that were so familiar.

Sam’s lips are soft, fitting perfectly against his own, his stubble scratching Dean’s face slightly. His grip didn’t falter, his other hand tugging at Dean’s collar, pulling him down, not letting him go anytime soon.

Dean moaned into his little brother’s mouth, cupping his cheeks, wanting to taste him even more. He’s trying so hard to pull away from Sam, to pull away from the very man he promised he’d never come back to, but he can’t.

“Please Dean” Sam whispers against his mouth, slipping his tongue pass Dean’s lips, tasting his brother once again.

Dean lets out a soft moan, his pants tightening as he grew more aroused.

He’s trying to remember those long nights when he punished himself for thinking about Sam, electrocuting himself with each dirty thought. The nights when he prayed for God to forgive him, forgive him for his sins, sometimes not even sleeping.

He’s trying to remember them, but it’s impossible to when his big brother’s tongue is in his mouth.

“I can’t Sammy” he replies, and it takes every fiber in his being to move his head back, Sam’s tongue leaving his mouth.

Sam’s confused, wondering if he’s done something wrong, offended Dean in any way, but he doesn’t make another move, doesn’t try to kiss Dean again.

Their foreheads are touching, breath hitting each other’s faces, eyes meeting, and it feels like deja vu.

“You have a wife, a fucking wife, and we’re brothers” Dean states, and it’s such a fucking lame excuse.

Sam flinches, like he’s been slapped in the face, causing him to let go of Dean. Those were the last words he had expected him to say.

“I-I do have a wife” Sam spits out, wiping his mouth, a cold look coming onto his face.

Dean opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Nothing he could say would matter, not like it would change the fact that Sam’s a married man, and his baby brother.

“Yeah” He manages to get out as he stands up straight, fixing his Suit.

Dean takes one last look at Sam, at how broken he looks, like that night when their father had found them tangled together under the sheets of motel bed, and he had made the choice to leave and never look back.

The older Winchester sighed, turning away from Sam, walking towards the door. His eyes wander over to the walls near the door, staring, once again, at the photos of Sam and Jess. 

He sighs, turning towards the door, hand reaching out for the knob, and he can’t help but feel like he’s making a big mistake.

“Go” Dean turns, finding Sam standing up, watching him with tears in his eyes.

He’s brought back to that night, outside of the motel door, hand reaching out to knock, but he doesn’t. His father words were ringing in his ears, saying if he truly loved Sam he’d leave, so that’s exactly what he did.

6 years later he’s in the same situation, and he’s about to make the same mistake twice.

“Goodbye” He chokes out, turning the knob, leaving Sam once again.

At least he was able to say goodbye this time.


End file.
